UNDER THE INFLUENCE

I already loved 10CC's I'm Not In Love (who doesn't?), but after seeing this 'making of' I love it even more. Although I doubt it will ever appear in Puberty Blues, the song has been an important  tonal/musical touchstone for composer Stephen Rae and I.

Immersive, melancholic, pre-digital awesomeness!

IF NOT HERE, THEN WHERE?

FOG OF BRUNSWICK

Beautifully foggy ride in from the Airport early yesterday morning. I love Melbourne in winter.

POSTCARDS FROM PUBERTY BLUES 2 #3

PERSPECTIVE

My Dad's funeral was during the week. It was actually a really good day if you can call a funeral 'good'. It was nice meeting some of Dad's friends who I didnt know and hearing stories about him. It was also cool to re-connect with some of my 'half' brothers and sisters. My brother Leigh who is currently touring with his band through Europe couldn't make it to the funeral. He wrote something for me to read at the service about his memories of Dad and how although Dad was absent physically for much of the time, he still had a strong influence on our lives beyond mere genetics.

Dad was essentially a traveller, a musician and an enthusiastic photographer. Leigh said that Dad  taught him many things not so much by direct teaching but by Leigh 'watching' him, for example, "Dad never taught me how to 'solder' electronics, but I could do by the age of 10…".  I found this really interesting but wondered... How could a man who on the surface seemed so disconnected from us have such a strong influence in shaping our lives and interests?

In the lead up to the funeral I looked through some old Video 8 footage I shot back in the day (1992). Dad and I were on our way back (to Newcastle where I was studying) from visiting my brother in Melbourne. I had my video camera with me and I filmed a lot of the road trip. With my brother's thoughts about indirect learning and influence on my mind I scanned through a section of footage that I had totally forgotten about.

Dad loved a road trip but would never drive for very long without having to stop and take photographs, it used to annoy me because it could add hours to a trip. Perhaps to help deal with the boredom this time I decided to film him while he was taking photographs. It was quite wonderful and a little eery watching the footage back. He isn't teaching me directly how to take photos but I'm observing him and chatting while he snaps away.

I cut a short sequence from the footage and showed it at Dad's service as a way of illustrating what my brother was talking about.

Essentially, when it comes to photography at least, I'm that guy now. The idea of travelling and documenting is ingrained in me. It's become an integral part of my personal life and process as a filmmaker. And much to my families distress on road trips I'm constantly pulling over to photograph something from the side of the road.

I also love seeing Dad and I goofing off and just hanging out like a father and son should. It was a rare moment of togetherness and perhaps we are happy because we are both doing what we loved the most.

I know Dad died thinking he could have been a better father and that he had failed us in many ways. Despite my brother and I having made peace with him, he still lived with heavy regret. If I could tell him anything more now I would say he was a lot more successful than he or I had thought. My brother and I are both living lives exploring our creativity and passions as a direct result of his influence. I know he was 'proud' of his sons and I'm not sure it would have remedied his regret, but I hope it might have eased it a little.

The morning after the funeral I woke up and I really missed Dad. Even though he had been absent for most of my life, Dad was still 'out there' in the world and I had a connection with him. Now he really is absent and I feel I have lost something.

I'm glad I feel this way though. It would be worse if I felt indifferent.

Thanks Dad for 'showing' me how to take photographs. It's a gift you gave me that I enjoy every day. I'll always think of you when I see a 'white bridge' and maybe I'll even pull over and photograph it for you.

DAD

My Dad died last Friday. Not a huge shock as he was 86 and had been quite ill for many years. But still a little unexpected as he had been quite ok in the last few months. Not like last year, I’ve never seen anyone so frail and confused as he was then. In the coronary unit connected up to machines and drips, I just thought it was kind of inevitable.

I took the photo above just before leaving the hospital for the last time last year. I was sure it would be the last time I would see him alive. Holding his hand, I had never been so aware of how alive someone ‘feels’. I was conscience of Dads skin, muscles, bones tendons and the warmth of the blood pumping. It felt like his hand ‘hummed’ with life.

Dad was ultimately a warm and friendly man with a kind heart. But at the same time he was frustratingly complex, full of regret and panic for a past he couldn’t fix no matter how much he tried or wished.

I also wished alot of things could have been different (along with my other family members). I wish he didn’t leave my Mum, brother and I when I was five. But I also wish he didn’t grow up in a 1920’s orphanage in Paramatta. A bleak introduction to the world to say the least. I wish he had parents of his own who showed him love and how to love. I wish he was able to mend the lifetime of heart ache he must have experienced as a result. Dad so desperately wanted to love and be loved, but never knew quite how. A bit like wanting to read, but never being exposed to words and books let alone being taught.

I feel lucky to have come to terms with him as a person, there was no malice or frustration in the end. I was glad I was able to spend some time with him while he was in hospital last year. We were able to chat and say all the things that I’m sure alot of people don’t get the chance to say to each other before they die.

One of the last times I saw my Dad I spent an hour or so sitting with him in the nursing home he was moved to from the hospital when his condition improved.

Dad talked, alot! He seemed to hate silence or perhaps he spent so much time alone, anytime with anyone was an opportunity to commune. He wanted to talk this night but rather than go over old ground I told him I was more than happy to sit and spend 'time' with him without a commentary. He had an old radio tuned to a religious station and we listened to a brass band warble through some old hymns. It was great.

When I was a kid I used to twist my Dads ‘comb over’ into a ‘horn’ that sat on top of his head. I thought it was hilarious. He thought it was pretty funny too. Sitting there in the nursing home, listening to the crackly hymns on the am radio, I couldn’t help myself, I just had to reach over and curl his hair up once more into a hair horn. I giggled and so did he.

Dad, the last time he visited us in Brunswick a few years ago aged 83. And below where he felt most comfortable in front of a piano, aged 30(ish).

I LOVE BRUNSWICK

Wintery afternoon walk around the neighbourhood. I have lived in Brunswick for the last fifteen or so years and even though it has been gentrified a fair bit (since this film over 20 years ago)... I do love the flecks of old school gold that still shine through.

HOME AND AWAY

Being away from home and family for extended periods of time sucks. Years ago I had lunch with a director who had just come back from shooting his second feature film in Germany. He said to me "...as exciting as you think being a director might be, in the end the reality is you spend huge amounts of time by yourself in hotels rooms far away from family and friends..." It seemed like a weird thing to say at the time, I was desperate to make a feature or anything longer than a short, but the honesty of the comment has always stayed with me.

Since then I've found myself on many occasions in that exact situation with his comment ringing in my ears. As much as I love the exploratory and immersive aspect of filmmaking and the fact that it has taken me places and given me experiences that I could only have dreamed about at that lunch ten years earlier. Alot of the time the reality is your distant from the people you love. And I must add, not just physically, but also mentally and emotionally.

This isn't a whinge, I love what I do too much to ever really complain, it's just a post about one of the flip sides. I know alot of directors, actors, cinematographers, producers and all crew feel it too at times. Not to mention other friends who have work that takes them away from home for long periods of time. The work / family balance is always a trick to get right, but when you are immersed in a project in another city or country, the balance is near impossible to get right.

Last weekend I flew back home to Melbourne for a night with the kids. The highlight was sitting wedged between the two of them on the couch watching Star Wars. The next morning while Ollie was a birthday party, Rosebud and I had waffles at one of our favorite cafes Luncheonette. The photo below of her laying down she is demonstrating to me how she can count to hundred... It takes a fair while for a six year old to count to a 100. I think she is at 67 in the snap. Precious moments.

UNDER THE INFLUENCE

I was a 14 years old when I first saw Pink Floyd's Live at Pompei. It blew me away then and it still does now. The clip below has been such a strong influence on me as a filmmaker over the years. I like the pureness of it all. It's more about capturing the energy that is there, rather than trying to fabricate what isn't. It's about tapping into the essence and documenting it in the most unaffected way.

It's funny how random things inform and inspire what we do. It's usually (and hopefully) such a random mix of things that the culmination of them all manifests to become something new and not derivative of the sources.

One week into shooting Puberty Blues 2, I'm drawn back to have another look at Echoes. This clip is like a compass to me. If you want to cut to the chase, jump to 6:30... Magic happens.

Do yourself a favour and watch the whole film here... (Directors Cut!)

IF NOT HERE, THEN WHERE?

POSTCARDS FROM PUBERTY BLUES 2 #2

Cheryls house.

SPRAANG BRAYYKE...

Saw Spring Breakers last night (trailer here). I haven't been so engaged and inspired by a film in a long time. I've been a fan of Harmony Korine from back in the day. The film Kids (1995), directed by Larry Clarke and written by Korine when was like 18 or so, totally blew me away. And the night I saw his debut feature Gummo, is perhaps one of the more defining moments in my creative life. That film was and still is a revelation to me.

Between Gummo and now he has had a few hits and misses in my opinion, but his work has always remained singular in vision and in and of it's own specific world. The films are not always perfect, but I don't think he's seeking perfection. I think he is exploring other things. He is a bit like Herzog in this way, Korine is searching for deeper truths and in the process discovers the absurd and the beautifully surreal.

Spring Breakers is perhaps Korine's most accessible film, in many ways it's his most extreme and experimental. The approach of using the non-linear narrative aspects of music videos and applying it to a feature drama structure makes perfect sense and mid way through the film I wondered why I hadn't seen this done before . The neon skittles colour palette, the sound design and the dark essay of youth culture, hedonism and materialism.

There was a point in the movie where I wished the film would last a for days and how great it would be to just sit back and let it wash all over me for hours and hours. Thats a rare feeling for me in the cinema these days. I woke up buzzing with enthusiasm and with a very clear and defined feeling that there is still so much potential in cinema and story telling. Spring Breakers got me all totally excited about it all again!

Part 2 of the above interview here.

And just give James Franco ALL of the awards! He is amazing in this!

Enjoy some other Harmony Korine highlights below...

POSTCARDS FROM PUBERTY BLUES 2 #1

Driving around revisiting old haunts from Series 1 as well as discovering new locations for Series 2. Finding inspiration and clues for colour palette, texture, tone and detail...

OLD SCHOOL

Not only did part of our Puberty Blues school location burn down recently... but what remains still standing has been vandalised beyond repair. Got to give the kids some credit though, they obviously worked very hard and put alot of time and effort into this particular project. Every room, every surface, inside and out of the entire school has been smashed, tagged and sprayed.

I can see their individual report cards now... "If only he put as much energy into his school work as he did his vandalism!" 

10

Our beautiful boy turned 10 today!